Blue eyed mangyan, from Mamburao, Occ. Mindoro (if I’m not mistaken). My co-worker told me about this doll-like mangyan and syempre, dahil hindi ako mapakali, google agad. Her mother used to play with blue-eyed dolls daw kaya ganyan ang kinalabasan nya. that’s what makes her unique among the tribe,
1) Encourage them to talk; ask them what’s on their mind - If you think your friend’s depressed or has something on their mind then ask if you can help, or something’s bothering them. And unless you get the feeling that they don’t want to talk, be persistent and keep asking in a gentle, caring way. This communicates the message that you genuinely care.
2) Give your full attention and listen carefully – If they’re brave enough to share what is on their mind, then give them the respect of listening carefully – without interrupting or offering them advice. Pay attention, focus on them, and try to understand the way they see their problems, and how that makes them feel. The only time you should speak is to clarify a point, or to ask open questions that will help them share some more.
3) Unless specifically requested, don’t offer them advice - Once you’ve got the general gist of what is happening with your friend, resist the temptation to offer them advice. This is often very hard as we usually want to help … but most people resent it as they just want to be heard.
4) Remember it’s all about them; it’s not about you – Often people want to somehow turn the conversation round to talking about them, and their own experiences. This is so annoying; it’s the worst thing you could do.
5) Be sensitive, respectful and non judgmental – Don’t react or seem shocked when they tell you something bad (like saying “OMG – I can’t believe you did that!”). And be tactful if you feel you must share something tough - as you honestly believe it would help to hear the truth. You don’t have to destroy them in your efforts to get real.
6) Nothing changes if we don’t do anything – Although it’s often helpful to unburden yourself if you just dump on others then nothing much will change. Thus, it’s important to encourage them to take some active steps. Don’t only be a crutch or a short term dumping ground.
If you have a true friend then you are blessed indeed. A trusted friend is a priceless gift –and something that’s not easy to find or keep. The marks of true friend are summarized below.
1. They tackle problems with you. A true friend is someone who can see through your smile and can tell when you’re in pain by the look in your eyes. They totally accept you and will always be there.
2. They give, and don’t just take, from the relationship. A good relationship is a negotiated one. It’s based on give and take – and thinking of each other.
3. They make time for each other. True friends always value the time they spend together; and though their lives are busy, they make time to stay in touch.
4. They communicate well. This is at the heart of any good relationship. It means that both the people are open and real so problems don’t get buried - but are dealt with right away.
5. They accept each other unconditionally. True friends accept each other as they are – warts and all. They are free to be themselves, and are free to change and grow. They don’t control each other, or judge and criticise.
6. They believe in each other. A true friend feels your passion and can visualise your dream. They believe that you can do it, and will cheer you the whole way.
7. They listen carefully, and aren’t quick to give advice. We don’t need advice; we simply want a listening ear. That is, someone we can vent to, and then move on with life.
8. They are loyal and dependable. Your word is your bond when you’re a trusted, faithful friend. You never share a secret or breach that sense of trust.